Letting go of Much to RECEIVE even more

Today is not about pictures; even though it is how I express myself. Sometimes words don't come and everything that is important to me is like a snapshot in my head. Sometimes I want to share those snapshots because they speak when the words cannot be found.

This is what I know today. I know that six months ago my heart was metaphorically bleeding because we moved from everything familiar. I knew that God was about to do something huge in our lives that would change us forever. So far, it has been a constant reformation of my mind set. Things that I thought we "deserved" because we worked so hard to earn...are not as important as they once were. I stood strong on the idea that if you sacrifice and work hard that it's OK to absorb the fruits of your labor... such as a comfortable home and the luxury of food on your table.

Neither of these "luxuries" are bad things, but the problem lies in what I considered a "comfortable" home. What I once measured as something that I "earned" looks way different in my mind today.

Maybe today IS about pictures, but not mine. Today, as I scroll through the pictures from an acquaintance, who is a brilliant photographer, on her trip to Guatemala and absorb photos from a friend who runs an orphanage in Romania, I have changed my mind on what home looks like. The most striking feature of these photos are the faces of the kids. The families in Guatemala live without the above mentioned luxuries, yet they have joy. The children in Romania are constantly joyful even though they don't have families. It's convicting really. Here in America we have both and yet we find ourselves going through phases of blue for no particular reason.

My husband is prepping his heart for a mission trip this summer in Mexico City. I'm aching to go since he will be at an orphanage. My ministry is here with our own kids, but I will pray that this will be transforming for the parent less children and the lives of those on the mission.

Here is an example of how much my heart needs to change and how God is revealing that to me. When hubby first started to tell me that he wanted to go on this mission trip, I was mad. No, not mad, I was downright jealous. I knew that logistically, financially and a million other excuses would keep me from going. I wanted to go... I wanted something meaningful to look forward to. That whole sentence churns my stomach to think about now. I am such a selfish soul and I know that God is changing that in me too. Gross, Lord... please change me on so many levels. This is a hard confession to make, but this truth doesn't have to be so anymore.

As for the pictures, I know that they give just a mere glimpse into what the lives of others are like. I'm not saying that you can't have a fancy home or healthy food on your table. What I am saying is this... God has a plan for each one of us. What is on my dance card is not necessary what is on yours. It is most definitely not always what I think is on mine either. God is changing me. Changing what home looks like, what giving looks like and what this life can offer for the character and growth for this season.

Next time I catch myself complaining that I don't have enough pantry space.... shame on me. Poor thing has so much food that she can't fit it all in one cupboard... gross, gross, gross... that whole idea is so ridiculous. I will remember the pictures and the smiling faces of the hungry, parent less and homeless. I will remember how much God can change a heart in such a short time. I will remember that letting go of much can free us up to receive even more.