When God Speaks (started 4/8/10)
WHEN GOD SPEAKS (sorry, this is a rough copy... I don't have time to edit - to do list too long... I just want you to know, that He's in the details - even the smallest ones)
I'm not sure what you call it. Is a feeling? Is a nudge? Does your gut tell you? Do the answers come in the form of a dream? Perhaps it's all of these things.
I've had friends ask me how I know when God is speaking to me. How do I know when God is closing or opening a door of opportunity? Do I say it's an open door because I want to go through it or because it's a path that God wants me to walk? These are very hard questions to answer.
I think the answer to these questions look and sound different for everyone. God speaks to me through music, my kids and my husband. Mostly my husband. It's a tall order to expect that all the answers will come loud and clear. Frankly, they don't. It takes patience and the answers are usually in a different shade or shape than I expected them to be. Sometimes the answers will not come on this side of heaven. For those, I shall wait...I know it will be worth the wait.
I have a story that I want to tell you. I need to back up a little bit to show you how this all plays out. Here goes.
Last Fall I felt like God was prepping me for something BIG. I (along with many others) had lost my Dad about six months prior. I knew that I was still raw from that whole experience and the tears continued to flow pretty freely at the most unexpected times. I thought of him and his hands and the way that he always had a soft spot for his girls and found teaching moments for his boys. I missed him. It was simple and it was clear.
I also thought about his relationship with my mom. It was a fact that they loved each other. With that being said, I believe that they were hardest on each other. They both expected a lot from one another. Although this could not have been a fun aspect of their marriage, I also think that it made both of them better. Iron sharpens iron or something along those lines. In the process of being sharpened friction can irritate. Let's be honest.... marriage is hard!
OK, now keeping in mind that I sensed something big coming on, I'm still mourning my dad and I'm sorting out how the dynamic of marriage works I'm going to jump forward a few months.
In January, my husband and I had an opportunity to go on a marriage retreat. I learned so much from that weekend. With another retreat under our belts, the countless books I've read on Christian marriage, the speakers that I've sat through, the verses that I toiled over and the knowledge that was virtually dripping off of me I felt amply prepared for the coming year with my love. I'm exaggerationg of course, but it feels like we are always trying to do, be and act better in every relationships so we ARM ourselves. (I'm making a disclaimer that I am not a perfect spouse and I thank God everyday that my husband not only tolerates, but encourages me).
Well, I heard someone say (I'm not sure who, but I think it was a speaker at the Ladies Christmas tea or maybe it was at the retreat) something like... [sometimes we have to allow our husbands to make family leadership decisions and have him live with the consequences because we need to be faithful that he is the leader of our household. Then, through that act of submission we will be blessed for our faithfulness. God always provides in the end. ] ...This is easy to do when your husband is a God lead, prayerful and wise decision maker---phew on that one. That was easy for me to swallow because he doesn't struggle with $ or addiction...if he did; that would be one rough pill. So I put that nugget in my pocket, thanked God for the husband that I have and I was on my way.
I still didn't know what the 'big' thing was. I casually made a vague statement to JJ that I felt God was preparing me for change and something BIG was going to happen this year. Neither of us knew how it would play out for sure. I of course imagined that it would be something good since the previous year had been blanketed in sorrow and lose. We buried my dad, our grandpa, an aunt, sister-in-law, both of my sisters lost their father-in-laws, and many others. It was a whirl wind, crazy, get me off of this ride kind of year. GOOD was the only possibility that I could even wrap my brain around.
I thought maybe a new member of the family. With the tragedy in Haiti, we even revisited the idea of adopting... I think that option will always be open in our family. If not now, maybe someday it will be something our kids will consider as adults.
I've learned that guessing wasn't really helpful, God was just teaching me patience. (much like you are being patient with this very long winded story)
Alright, a few more months pass and spring had arrived. I received an email from my husband that seemed totally random. This out of the blue note says that there is a position open to teach at the University that he had attended several years prior. It seems custom designed just for him. Without hesitation I encourged him to pray about it and confirmed that I would support him with what ever he decided. I honestly beleived that he had supported me with my dream to be a stay at home mom and I could do that anywhere. It seemed only fair to support him with his dream.
Did it scare me? NO, which is weird because I am not a fan of change. But I guess God really was prepping me for it. I still struggle with the patience part because I wanted to know more ASAP, but that is not how things work.
I had an opportunity to speak with one of the professors and he gave me some great insight on specific prayer and prepped me for change and tools for God's answers. I forgot to mention that my husband attended a Christian Univeristy, so that was a blessing. To know that someone who had never met me was praying for us and the possiblities of our life was a gift directly from heaven.
Hubby felt good about moving forward with this prospect, so it went. With the excitement of possibly working in ministry he moved forward with applications, phone interviews etc. etc. Each step was exciting and nerve wracking. If you've ever ventured into something new, then you know what I'm talking about. The whole while knowing that God had His hand in it and not fearing because of it.
I have to say (because I am an open book) that the hardest part was keeping it quiet. I am not good at that sort of thing. If I'm excited about something... you will know it - trust me ;)
Another side note: everything that our pastor was preaching about over the past several weeks has been about ministry and serving God. I sure felt like he was looking straight at us when he was preaching. I also wondered if it would prepare the hearts of our friends in the process. You never know how God is going to speak to each person. In church I gave JJ a secret little nudge each time the pastor would say something that felt directed at our situation. I would get a smirk out of hubby, but our lips were still sealed.
I know that this story isn't exactly a page turner, but stick with me people... we are almost to the end.
We decided to tell our small group of friends about our new adventure so we could have some more prayer warriors. Of course they were supportive and even layed hands on us and prayered over us. It was so touching and naturally I cried. These are not just friends, they are family. The thought of packing up our stuff and moving 1300 miles way from them was almost more than I could bare. Did I mention that it was an out of state transfer?
Keeping our eye on what God wants for our lives was key. Getting lost in the details of how hard it would be to get there was not a healthy thing to do at this point.
Trying to shut out the noise of the world and listen to His voice is so very hard to balance. It was a great excercise for my faith... learning that I miserably failed in the patiently waiting place was humbling to say the least. Still on board we waited. Two to three weeks is what they told us after the last interview.
Two weeks later.... we do know that they interviewed another person and they need to evaluate how that went. We anticipate a call tomorrow to find out if they are going to give JJ an offer or if they feel God is leading them in another direction. So we wait.
UPDATE: They did call and give him a verbal offer. So it's off to pray some more. Diligently asking God to show us how the pieces of this very exciting puzzle will fall into place. Ernestly praising Him for teaching us patients, providing for our needs even when it doesn't work on paper and for giving us the measuring stick to see growth in our selves and our kids.
Oh the kids! As a mama, I worry about change. I know that God has been preparing their little hearts way before the email flipped our world around. His big picture view is making sense and it's nice to get a glimpse of the project that He has been working on all of these years.
How do I know that it's God speaking? Because He really does bring all things together for good. The mission work drives us. The minstry opportunities with the college students motivates us. The hospitality outreach can really pump us up. I've said it before and I still believe that this is not our home and it doesn't matter where we are when we do His work, it can be done anywhere. Afterall, that is the motto of the University "Every workplace, every Nation". Your mission field is right where you are at. As a stay at home mom or an employee of ANY company... bring God into it. It's a calling.
I still cry a little when I think of the overwhelming work that this will be. I cry a little when I imagine driving away from our home for the last time. I hug my friends tighter for I know that on my lonely days I shall miss them. Afterall, I am human... I need grace... and I can not hold back these tears.
Looking back, He has not only prepared the hearts of our little ones, but he has been working on us also. Well before we even met each other He has been giving us nuggets reach for through all of this change. He has orchastrated what college my husband would go to, friends He would place in our lives, ministry work and a love for it, marriage retreats, even the relationship our parents had and how that would affect us. I'm not saying He did all of that for US for this moment , but it does play a part in the decision. In the end I feel like it will be a blessing. We will see His FACE all over the place and feel His HAND in our lives.
Continue to pray for our family and the transition that this will mean for each of us. Starting over, moving on, adjusting and fitting in will all be great challenges.
I'm not sure what you call it. Is a feeling? Is a nudge? Does your gut tell you? Do the answers come in the form of a dream? Perhaps it's all of these things.
I've had friends ask me how I know when God is speaking to me. How do I know when God is closing or opening a door of opportunity? Do I say it's an open door because I want to go through it or because it's a path that God wants me to walk? These are very hard questions to answer.
I think the answer to these questions look and sound different for everyone. God speaks to me through music, my kids and my husband. Mostly my husband. It's a tall order to expect that all the answers will come loud and clear. Frankly, they don't. It takes patience and the answers are usually in a different shade or shape than I expected them to be. Sometimes the answers will not come on this side of heaven. For those, I shall wait...I know it will be worth the wait.
I have a story that I want to tell you. I need to back up a little bit to show you how this all plays out. Here goes.
Last Fall I felt like God was prepping me for something BIG. I (along with many others) had lost my Dad about six months prior. I knew that I was still raw from that whole experience and the tears continued to flow pretty freely at the most unexpected times. I thought of him and his hands and the way that he always had a soft spot for his girls and found teaching moments for his boys. I missed him. It was simple and it was clear.
I also thought about his relationship with my mom. It was a fact that they loved each other. With that being said, I believe that they were hardest on each other. They both expected a lot from one another. Although this could not have been a fun aspect of their marriage, I also think that it made both of them better. Iron sharpens iron or something along those lines. In the process of being sharpened friction can irritate. Let's be honest.... marriage is hard!
OK, now keeping in mind that I sensed something big coming on, I'm still mourning my dad and I'm sorting out how the dynamic of marriage works I'm going to jump forward a few months.
In January, my husband and I had an opportunity to go on a marriage retreat. I learned so much from that weekend. With another retreat under our belts, the countless books I've read on Christian marriage, the speakers that I've sat through, the verses that I toiled over and the knowledge that was virtually dripping off of me I felt amply prepared for the coming year with my love. I'm exaggerationg of course, but it feels like we are always trying to do, be and act better in every relationships so we ARM ourselves. (I'm making a disclaimer that I am not a perfect spouse and I thank God everyday that my husband not only tolerates, but encourages me).
Well, I heard someone say (I'm not sure who, but I think it was a speaker at the Ladies Christmas tea or maybe it was at the retreat) something like... [sometimes we have to allow our husbands to make family leadership decisions and have him live with the consequences because we need to be faithful that he is the leader of our household. Then, through that act of submission we will be blessed for our faithfulness. God always provides in the end. ] ...This is easy to do when your husband is a God lead, prayerful and wise decision maker---phew on that one. That was easy for me to swallow because he doesn't struggle with $ or addiction...if he did; that would be one rough pill. So I put that nugget in my pocket, thanked God for the husband that I have and I was on my way.
I still didn't know what the 'big' thing was. I casually made a vague statement to JJ that I felt God was preparing me for change and something BIG was going to happen this year. Neither of us knew how it would play out for sure. I of course imagined that it would be something good since the previous year had been blanketed in sorrow and lose. We buried my dad, our grandpa, an aunt, sister-in-law, both of my sisters lost their father-in-laws, and many others. It was a whirl wind, crazy, get me off of this ride kind of year. GOOD was the only possibility that I could even wrap my brain around.
I thought maybe a new member of the family. With the tragedy in Haiti, we even revisited the idea of adopting... I think that option will always be open in our family. If not now, maybe someday it will be something our kids will consider as adults.
I've learned that guessing wasn't really helpful, God was just teaching me patience. (much like you are being patient with this very long winded story)
Alright, a few more months pass and spring had arrived. I received an email from my husband that seemed totally random. This out of the blue note says that there is a position open to teach at the University that he had attended several years prior. It seems custom designed just for him. Without hesitation I encourged him to pray about it and confirmed that I would support him with what ever he decided. I honestly beleived that he had supported me with my dream to be a stay at home mom and I could do that anywhere. It seemed only fair to support him with his dream.
Did it scare me? NO, which is weird because I am not a fan of change. But I guess God really was prepping me for it. I still struggle with the patience part because I wanted to know more ASAP, but that is not how things work.
I had an opportunity to speak with one of the professors and he gave me some great insight on specific prayer and prepped me for change and tools for God's answers. I forgot to mention that my husband attended a Christian Univeristy, so that was a blessing. To know that someone who had never met me was praying for us and the possiblities of our life was a gift directly from heaven.
Hubby felt good about moving forward with this prospect, so it went. With the excitement of possibly working in ministry he moved forward with applications, phone interviews etc. etc. Each step was exciting and nerve wracking. If you've ever ventured into something new, then you know what I'm talking about. The whole while knowing that God had His hand in it and not fearing because of it.
I have to say (because I am an open book) that the hardest part was keeping it quiet. I am not good at that sort of thing. If I'm excited about something... you will know it - trust me ;)
Another side note: everything that our pastor was preaching about over the past several weeks has been about ministry and serving God. I sure felt like he was looking straight at us when he was preaching. I also wondered if it would prepare the hearts of our friends in the process. You never know how God is going to speak to each person. In church I gave JJ a secret little nudge each time the pastor would say something that felt directed at our situation. I would get a smirk out of hubby, but our lips were still sealed.
I know that this story isn't exactly a page turner, but stick with me people... we are almost to the end.
We decided to tell our small group of friends about our new adventure so we could have some more prayer warriors. Of course they were supportive and even layed hands on us and prayered over us. It was so touching and naturally I cried. These are not just friends, they are family. The thought of packing up our stuff and moving 1300 miles way from them was almost more than I could bare. Did I mention that it was an out of state transfer?
Keeping our eye on what God wants for our lives was key. Getting lost in the details of how hard it would be to get there was not a healthy thing to do at this point.
Trying to shut out the noise of the world and listen to His voice is so very hard to balance. It was a great excercise for my faith... learning that I miserably failed in the patiently waiting place was humbling to say the least. Still on board we waited. Two to three weeks is what they told us after the last interview.
Two weeks later.... we do know that they interviewed another person and they need to evaluate how that went. We anticipate a call tomorrow to find out if they are going to give JJ an offer or if they feel God is leading them in another direction. So we wait.
UPDATE: They did call and give him a verbal offer. So it's off to pray some more. Diligently asking God to show us how the pieces of this very exciting puzzle will fall into place. Ernestly praising Him for teaching us patients, providing for our needs even when it doesn't work on paper and for giving us the measuring stick to see growth in our selves and our kids.
Oh the kids! As a mama, I worry about change. I know that God has been preparing their little hearts way before the email flipped our world around. His big picture view is making sense and it's nice to get a glimpse of the project that He has been working on all of these years.
How do I know that it's God speaking? Because He really does bring all things together for good. The mission work drives us. The minstry opportunities with the college students motivates us. The hospitality outreach can really pump us up. I've said it before and I still believe that this is not our home and it doesn't matter where we are when we do His work, it can be done anywhere. Afterall, that is the motto of the University "Every workplace, every Nation". Your mission field is right where you are at. As a stay at home mom or an employee of ANY company... bring God into it. It's a calling.
I still cry a little when I think of the overwhelming work that this will be. I cry a little when I imagine driving away from our home for the last time. I hug my friends tighter for I know that on my lonely days I shall miss them. Afterall, I am human... I need grace... and I can not hold back these tears.
Looking back, He has not only prepared the hearts of our little ones, but he has been working on us also. Well before we even met each other He has been giving us nuggets reach for through all of this change. He has orchastrated what college my husband would go to, friends He would place in our lives, ministry work and a love for it, marriage retreats, even the relationship our parents had and how that would affect us. I'm not saying He did all of that for US for this moment , but it does play a part in the decision. In the end I feel like it will be a blessing. We will see His FACE all over the place and feel His HAND in our lives.
Continue to pray for our family and the transition that this will mean for each of us. Starting over, moving on, adjusting and fitting in will all be great challenges.
Comments
xoxo,
Adrienne